Wednesday, April 13, 2011

How I Operate

I don't really know where to start today. There seem to be a lot of things to talk about but I'm having a hard time finding where to begin and how to write a blog and not a novel. I guess I will start with a bit of clarification. One thing I have learned in my 28 years of life is that people will always make assumptions. I guess it is just human nature for many of us. But I think that is where a lot of confusion and disappointments come from - we behave or react a certain way to certain situations so we assume others do or should as well.

Example: I am a very even-tempered, easygoing person. I don't let a lot of things get to me. I'm overall calm by nature. I have even had countless people comment on how calm and quiet my voice is. I actually had a guy tell me that I would be voted "least likely to ever yell". And that's probably true...I think I've only hollered during concerts out of excitement - I definitely don't yell out of anger...I've always felt that raising voices only makes situations get even more out of control and you end up playing this game of who can shout the loudest which really doesn't accomplish anything. But because my tone, like my personality, is also even-tempered I think people confuse that with me being naive, depressed or apathetic. When the opposite is true. I am a generally very happy, positive person. It's extremely rare that I am not in good spirits. Some may assume that I am either hiding my true feelings or perhaps in denial because "nobody can be that happy or positive all the time." But that is simply another poor assumption.

I am human, I have my bad days too but they are few and far between not because I live some sort of fantasy life but because I choose to remain optimistic in all circumstances. If something major is wrong, I am not afraid to talk about it. I'm a pretty open person (obviously, I have a blog) But I typically confide in certain people (like God, my husband and/or my parents) when I'm having a real "down day" because they are my main source of support. I'm not a sympathy seeker so I don't typically unload all my sorrows on just anyone and everyone mostly because I don't find it to be useful for me personally. If I share my problems it is because I want or need help, not because I want people to feel sorry for me. At the same time I don't avoid or ignore problems I encounter either, I just work to overcome them as effectively and efficiently as possible and try not to involve too many people in the process. That's just how I operate. I understand that not everyone operates this way but it works best for me.

Jared and I were having this discussion the other day how he can see why I may be hard to read for some people because a lot of folks go from one extreme emotion to another. They are either super excited or extremely upset and rarely just at peace so when they encounter someone with a "balanced" outlook it is hard to relate to or understand. I am not saying that my laid back nature makes me greater or anything. I'm just saying this is me. I'm neither overly excitable or easily upsettable. I'm just content. And I would hope that doesn't make me unrelatable or unapproachable. Although I am quite aware that I'm a bit of a weirdo! ;)

When people find out that Jared and I have never had a fight in our four years of marriage they can assume we have not had to face any difficulties or challenges in our relationship. Not true. We have had some serious trials we've had to face together. We have just chosen to address any challenges we encounter as a team and not as contenders. It doesn't make us a happier or more loving couple than anyone else...we have just figured out what works for us.

There may be those who assume (there's that word again) that our attitude towards life and relationships either makes us naive or perhaps condescending but the reality is this: We love life, we love each other and we love people. That's it. It's that simple. That is how we choose to live. I just hope that people take us for who we are. And if you aren't sure about something...ask! Because you know what they say about assumptions..... ;)

I've realized that putting myself out there on the internet through my blog and other social media makes me susceptible to judgment and misunderstanding but I felt as though some of those who don't see the full scope of my life may have misinterpreted me and misjudged my heart so I wanted to put this out there. I want my blog to be a happy, positive place to come to for my readers and I hope that it is.


  1. I say kudos to you!! In some ways I'm the same ... I lay it all out there, and I don't do it for sympathy or to milk compliments. I do it to get it out of my system. Your positivity illuminates through all that you do and I say keep it up!!

  2. Thanks Danna! It's nice to know you can relate and that I have sweet supportive friends like you!