Mental Vitamins: Forgiving Ourselves

Why is it often so hard to forgive ourselves? Being both the wronged and the wrongdoer places us in the awkward position of being able to reject the forgiveness. A thief cannot reject the forgiveness his victim offers since it is not for his sake that it is offered. Yet, we can and often do refuse the choice to forgive ourselves because we are experiencing tremendous guilt and believe that we deserve more punishment. Failing to forgive ourselves is one way to keep the punishment in effect. It is a way for us to torment ourselves over and over again.

The foolishness of this practice should be self evident. What can our self inflicted punishment do to help our victim, or for that matter, ourselves? What good can come of it?

It's common to hold on to guilt and shame when we've hurt someone, but those feelings do not come from God. They come from our enemy, Satan. Guilt and shame prolong pain and suffering while providing nothing of value to anyone. They leave us looking back, and while we're busy focusing on the past, it's very difficult to move forward with Christ. 

Instead of guilt, God requires repentance. These two words mean very different things. Repentance is an acknowledgment of the wrong we have done followed by a commitment to change our ways, but guilt carries no such commitment. Guilt causes us to live in the shadow of our past disgrace, while repentance looks forward in anticipation of God's grace.  

We know that because of Christ's amazing sacrifice, all our sins are forgiven whenever we call upon the Lord with a repentant heart. God has the most perfect sense of justice in all of creation, yet in His mercy He has decreed that all offenses are paid in full by Christ's blood for those who call Him Savior. In His eyes, we stand worthy to be forgiven. 

We must forgive ourselves as we forgive others and for all the same reasons - so that we can move past anger, bitterness, loss and regret. There is no honor in guilt and there is nothing to be gained in prolonging our punishment. There is no exception in God's laws about forgiving ourselves so we must remember to apply this commandment to ourselves. Never forget that guilt and shame come from the Enemy, so do not give them a foothold. Replace guilt with repentance and begin moving ahead to where Jesus is waiting to continue His walk with you. 

 

 This was a very timely devotional for me. I can be my toughest critic and I tend to beat myself up over every little mistake I make. I often allow myself to be haunted by my actions - by regret. If I feel I have have wronged or offended someone I will replay it over and over again in my head and spend hours wishing I would have said things differently or acted differently even after I have asked for forgiveness and especially if I am not extended forgiveness by the person I have offended or wronged.

I too often forget that God knows my heart and He knows when I am sincerely sorry for whatever it is I have done in the past. He is a God of forgiveness even when others may not pardon me for my errors or even if I don't pardon myself.  He gave the ultimate sacrifice so that I might live a life full of His love and reprieve. Believing that I am unworthy of forgiveness is like saying that I have more authority than God. He is willing to forgive me therefor I should be willing to forgive myself and others.


I hope this also found you encouraged. Forgiving ourselves is tougher than it sounds. But with God's mercy and grace - forgiveness can be achieved so that we can continue to enjoy a life full of His love.
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*Excerpts from Delve Into Jesus Devotionals

FREE T-SHIRT CONTEST/GIVEAWAY!!!

As many of you know, I am currently the coordinator for the teen outreach group, Epic Alliance. I work with an amazing team whose primary goal is to encourage young people to live happier, healthier lives. To kick things off we are hosting a contest/giveaway for a chance to win a FREE T-shirt. Two winners will be selected - one male, one female. The full details and rules can be found on our blog. The contest is open to everyone, so anyone can enter. 

You can check out our Epic blog for more details about the contest and how you can enter to win one of these four amazing t-shirt designs. The shirts are also available at our online store if you would like to purchase them. Go to: www.epicalliance.net to buy a shirt or to check out the other information we offer there and don't forget to "like" us on facebook: www.facebook.com/EpicAlliance

Please help us make this a success by sharing with your friends! Thanks for your support and participation.

Special thanks to my talented brother for helping bring my ideas for these shirts to life. He is the printing power behind them and they turned out awesome! Thanks so much Jon! If you need a graphic designer check out his website at: http://www.iegraphicsonline.com/

Things I Love: Spring Colors

Spring is so close I can feel it. Signs of the new season are literally springing up everywhere I look. Soon the weather will be cool but comfortable as opposed to chilly and tolerable. I'll be able to move into lighter and brighter fashion once spring finally arrives. Warm colors look best on my skin tone but I still love the bright, cool colors of the spring season.

Here are a few fashion items I found inspired by spring....

1. Mint flower charm from Forever21
2. Floral coin purse from Forever21
3. Floral scarf from Old Navy
4. Green silk blouse from Polyvore
5. Yellow halter dress (google images)
6. Colorful panel bangles from Forever21
7. Fuschia patent leather heels by RSVP Evelyn
8. China Glaze nail polish in Spontaneous

In Bloom

Sometimes I neglect to thank God for all He has given me. I can get distracted by things going on in my life and approach life with a sense of expectancy. I realized this as I was walking home from lunch with Jared on Monday. It was gorgeous outside. The sun was shining, the sky was blue, and I noticed the trees were beginning to blossom. I'd walked this route a hundred times since we moved here but I don't think I'd ever been that aware of my surroundings and just been thankful. The pink buds beginning to sprout and the tiny flowers springing up from the grass made me literally stop my feet, look around, take it all in and say out loud "Thank you Lord for today." Every moment is fleeting. Every day is a gift. And I have been rushing through the days and the moments without fully appreciating them.

It's so easy to get caught up in myself and the happenings going on in the world but rarely do I stop and appreciate - I mean fully recognize - the worth of life and the beauty and wonder we have been given here on earth. I now understand where they coined the phrase "stop and smell the roses." I stopped and did more than smell the roses....I froze and stood in awe of them. To some it may not makes sense or sound a bit out there but it was in that moment that I felt closest to my God. It was as though He was walking right there with me and turned to say "All this is especially for you. I hope you like it." I know He created the world for all of us, but I believe He meant for each of us to consider it our own personal treasure - our own inherited gift from God Himself - passed down from generation to generation. When thought of like that, it makes the world more of a priceless family heirloom that suggests a legacy of love behind it.

I'm certain that the days ahead will sometimes get away from me and my mind won't always be centered but my hope and prayer is that the days I take for granted are minimal from here on out. I no longer want to ignore the details or overlook the triumph of each day. I want to stay close to Him.

Book Review: Unplanned by Abby Johnson

In one of my previous blog posts I shared that I had recently bought the book Unplanned by Abby Johnson. Well, I finished the book last week and couldn't wait to review it for you.

Many of you are aware of Abby's story. But for those who are not I'll provide a brief summary of how she became a well-known public figure. Abby was with Planned Parenthood for 8 years, the last 2 of those years as a Clinic Director. She left Planned Parenthood after viewing an ultrasound-guided abortion. Her book tells the story of her life before and after her experiences at Planned Parenthood as well as the time in between when she was involved in the abortion industry.

In this illuminating and moving book we get an inside look at the world of Planned Parenthood. We also get a personal look at the confused messages women are getting on the abortion issue.

It is primarily a conversion story: a conversion from death to life; from lies to truth; from darkness to light; from bondage to freedom; from doubt to faith. It tells the story of how God was at work in the life of one abortion worker, drawing her to Him, and to life.

I'm sure many of you had the same question I had when I heard about Abby's conversion which was: How could someone work at Planned Parenthood for 8 years and not be aware of, and horrified by, the reality of what abortion does?

Abby tells us that her ultimate desire was to help women and reduce abortions. She recounts how she initially became involved in the abortion industry as a young naive college student who started simply as a volunteer. After reading her story I believe her compassion for women was genuine. The fact that she wanted to reduce abortions is indicative that she knew abortion is wrong.  But in order to keep working at Planned Parenthood,  she chose to ignore her conscience. In the book she talks about the inner battle with her mind and her morals. She rationalized that she was saving women who were going to have an abortion whether it was legal or not so she wanted to make sure they were at least safe if they were going to be doing it. It was a gradual process, but eventually she was able to leave Planned Parenthood and realize that helping someone carry out a "safe" injustice or by ignoring the issue altogether is simply encouraging the injustice to continue and making anyone doing so equally responsible by assisting in it. And to quote Abby herself in a recent interview:  "Abortions are never safe whether they are legal or illegal - abortion always takes the life of a child - abortion is never safe for the child."

Abby describes her experience of the ultrasound guided abortion in her book and says she realized that she had “just participated in a death. A death. Not a medical procedure. Not a surgical solution to a life problem. Not the valiant step of a woman exercising her right to make medical choices about her own body. The death of a helpless baby, a baby violently ripped away from the safety of the womb, sucked away to be discarded as biohazard waste.” It was then that she first truly identified the pre-born baby as a human life. It's obvious from her words that it was like a light bulb moment - as though she had finally pieced together the full puzzle.

The part of her story that most captured my attention was the pro-lifers who prayed outside the clinic. At first, there were a couple of extremists such as someone dressed as the grim reaper and others with large graphic pictures of aborted babies. I have prayed outside of abortion clinics and know how this kind of approach by some well-intentioned people is not helpful but rather is damaging to the pro-life cause and actually hurtful to women.  It was the Coalition for Life that made the pro-life witness there more effective by making it prayerful, compassionate and sincere. They established a standard for those present outside of clinics and emphasized that destructive behaviour was not acceptable. They actually trained people to be sidewalk counselors to avoid and eliminate any negative interactions that were not conducive to their mission. They also helped Abby when she made the decision to leave Planned Parenthood. They reached out with love and concern for not just the pregnant women seeking abortions but to the clinic staff as well. It made me see the great need for this kind of prayerful presence and sincere desire to change hearts not just change minds.

I appreciated how Abby did not condemn people on either side of the fence. She identified that there are sincere hearts and good intentions on both sides and there are destructive actions and behaviours on both sides. The bottom line should be to lovingly reveal the truth, and the truth is that abortion kills a human life and wounds countless others. There are life-affirming options no matter what the situation is. The focus needs to be on sharing the truth in love, especially to the most vulnerable and uninformed. There is no room for judgment in this battle. Truth and love needs to be the primary focus. She emphasizes this throughout the book.

She also provides hope through her story. Hope that with love and prayer anything is possible. Change doesn't happen overnight. It took years of love and prayer before Abby embraced the truth and she is now inspiring others to not give up, to stay prayerful and continue to love others to the truth. EVERY life saved is worth celebrating. Everyone, no matter what side of the fence they are on, is valuable and should be loved. I think that is the heart of the message in her book.

I definitely recommend it to everyone. If you have already read this book let me know your thoughts!